“Welcome!” came an automated chirp overhead.
Cheng Xiaoshi opened the shop door and a bell let out a light, cheery tone. An warm beam of sunlight followed him as he stepped inside, illuminating the already bright atmosphere.
As the door closed with a firm click, Cheng Xiaoshi was met with the abundant aroma of flowers. It made sense for such a small flower shop so full of blooms: the little space was lined with displays and shelves along its sides, pallets with buckets containing multitudes of flowers highlighting the middle of the area and creating two narrow aisles on either side. At once the space appeared full of various flowers at every angle but was not at all overwhelming to look at; rather, it was quite peaceful and calming, perhaps because it was all so neatly arranged. Cheng Xiaoshi felt some of the tightness in his shoulders release upon walking in and taking a breath and a look around.
The shop was undeniably small, but perhaps that made it feel cozier. Anything that wasn’t a plant was a light or almost-white piece of wood, or some charming vase containing some aromatic array. The early spring morning filtered through the square windows on one wall (maybe the only things that weren’t wood or ceramic, but instead looking like cheap, familiar washed brick) and the larger display window beside the door. The mix of natural white light and slightly warmer light from the overheads left the shop in a soft glow. Cheng Xiaoshi thought this was the kind of atmosphere where he should see specks of dust falling slowly, caught in the light, but he saw none as he continued inside.
He heard his own footsteps against old tile as he approached a row of pallets in the middle of the shop. Each one contained numerous tall buckets of various colors, each bucket housing some number of the same flower. Cheng Xiaoshi walked alongside the long collection of pallets, a row of shelves containing various gardening items and other potted plants opposite him. What seemed to be a long checkout counter was a few feet ahead of him if he continued walking down the aisle.
Passing the flowers more closely made their aroma stronger. It was intensely floral, fresh and sweet, but not unpleasant. The air in the entire shop felt extremely light and flowed easily in and out of Cheng Xiaoshi’s lungs.
Cozy.
He leaned forward to admire some of the flowers in front of him. They were a curiously bright orange, and smelled a bit less sweet than the rest, refreshing with some other note. Cheng Xiaoshi extended his hand out to grab one by the stem for further inspection.
His fingers were just under orange petals when he suddenly recoiled, stumbling back and letting out a surprised yell.
“Gah!”
In the small space, Cheng Xiaoshi hit his back on the shelf behind him, feeling the wood crash against his spine and hearing an unpleasant crashing sound. He tried to shake off his shock and steady himself upright again. He felt the new soreness in his back as he looked wildly in front of him.
Where did you come from?
Cheng Xiaoshi watched with intense interest as the figure that had startled him walked towards him now from the other side of the pallets. He was still a bit frazzled as the figure appeared just in front of him now, watchful grey eyes looking back at him.
“Are you alright?” asked a low voice.
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” replied Cheng Xiaoshi, a bit embarrassed and still a bit startled.
Cheng Xiaoshi stared at the boy across from him. His presence seemed entirely quiet: he was pale, in light-colored clothes, and had white, white hair. His voice was concerned but soft; Cheng Xiaoshi was struck with the thought that he might not be used to being stern. Then he wondered why he was thinking that in the first place.
“You scared me is all. I didn’t see you when I came in,” explained Cheng Xiaoshi.
The boy was still looking at him closely. Cheng Xiaoshi felt like his eyes were searching him, judging him wordlessly. He felt stuck to his spot, not sure he could will his body to move as the boy stared at him.
“I’ve been here the whole time,” he replied simply.
Cheng Xiaoshi deadpanned, a bit in disbelief at the flat response.
“Right… I guess I didn’t see you behind the display.”
“I guess not.”
Somehow his tone and gaze left Cheng Xiaoshi not feeling insulted, though he supposed maybe he should have. It felt like he was just stating a fact, and it rolled right off Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders. Their eyes were still on each other, and as the seconds ticked by, Cheng Xiaoshi became aware of a warm static spreading from his fingers and toes. He found himself at a loss for words and was trying desperately to produce anything in his brain to string together and speak. Instead, the boy beat him to it.
“Are you sure you’re alright? Did you hit your head?”
This time, Cheng Xiaoshi felt a little more insulted—Is he calling me stupid?—but the feeling quickly dissipated. The boy moved his hand upward towards Cheng Xiaoshi’s head, completely arresting Cheng Xiaoshi’s movements. He watched, frozen, as the boy’s pale fingers brushed just past his dark curls to something behind them on the shelf. Cheng Xiaoshi heard the quiet movement of what he assumed was some ceramic trinkets or gardening tools on the shelf just behind him—he didn’t dare turn his head to find out. He was aware of the hitch in his breath as he took in every movement of the boy’s hand.
He felt like he couldn’t move during the entire interaction: how long did it take, anyway? Somehow it was an eternity and a few seconds too short. Feeling pinned between the shelf behind him and the boy in front of him, Cheng Xiaoshi stole a long glance at the boy’s face while he was focused on moving things around on the shelf.
Cheng Xiaoshi caught himself watching the boy, probably too intently, he thought. But he found it hard to look away. Did he even want to?
His hair is really white, like snow.
And—
He smells good.
Like, really good.
A smile and a blush were growing across Cheng Xiaoshi’s face. He was keenly aware of the boy’s arm just beside his face, of its faint warmth as it retreated past his ear and to the boy’s side again. He noticed the fuzzy feeling that was washing over his entire body by now. The corners of his mouth had just turned upward when the boy stepped back.
For just a few moments, the two simply stared at each other. Cheng Xiaoshi hadn’t taken his eyes off of him, but was feeling waves roll around inside of him as he tried to continue to meet the boy’s gaze. He was staring right back at him, silent, evaluative: again, Cheng Xiaoshi felt like he was being examined, plainly read like a book. It was strange. He thought there was some curiosity, some interest in the boy’s eyes, but then he thought maybe he had imagined it. He wasn’t sure. He felt a bit like he was melting, maybe from the inside out.
Cheng Xiaoshi was the one who finally broke the silence.
“Nothing’s broken, right?”
The boy seemed to wait a second before responding.
“Nothing’s broken.”
Cheng Xiaoshi let his smile spread out widely, exhaling in relief.
“Good.”
Another moment passed in silence. Was it a little awkward? Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t feel like he had misspoken, nor did he feel terribly embarrassed. It was something else entirely—something that was swirling in the bottom of his stomach, filling it with butterflies.
Looking just down at the boy, Cheng Xiaoshi willed himself to speak.
“I’m Cheng Xiaoshi, by the way.”
The boy beheld him for a moment. Cheng Xiaoshi felt again like he was being completely analyzed in a single second, seen all over and waiting on pins and needles for the result.
“Lu Guang,” he replied.
Cheng Xiaoshi beamed and straightened.
Lu Guang. The name tasted sweet in his mouth.
“Lu Guang! Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Cheng Xiaoshi.”
With an excited grin, Cheng Xiaoshi took a few steps past Lu Guang towards the pallets opposite them then turned his head back to look at him again.
“So, what are you getting?” Cheng Xiaoshi motioned to the rows of buckets filled with various flowers. Here, too, the scent was incredible and delicate. Lu Guang looked up at him, his gaze a bit inquisitive.
“I’m not. But you are, right? You just came in.”
Cheng Xiaoshi slid his hands in his jacket pockets and sighed.
“Ah, yeah, but I’m really not sure what I’m looking for,” he admitted, throwing his head back dejectedly and looking aimlessly at the ceiling. “I was hoping the shop clerk or someone might be here to help me, but it seems like it’s empty.”
Lu Guang looked at Cheng Xiaoshi for a long moment before speaking. Even without looking at him, Cheng Xiaoshi felt that curious gaze on him. A warm feeling coursed through him again and he pushed his hands further into his pockets.
Cheng Xiaoshi had barely heard Lu Guang’s quiet footsteps; when he fixed his posture, he saw Lu Guang standing at the edge of the pallets lined with buckets, looking towards Cheng Xiaoshi.
“What’s the occasion?” asked Lu Guang.
“It’s my sister’s birthday,” replied Cheng Xiaoshi.
“Mm,” came Lu Guang’s thoughtful hum.
Cheng Xiaoshi found himself watching Lu Guang as his hands moved serenely across some of the buckets, his fingers carefully separating individual flowers. For a moment, he was entirely engrossed: something about the graceful way Lu Guang moved commanded Cheng Xiaoshi’s attention. He wanted to keep watching, but looked up when he felt Lu Guang’s eyes on him.
“Is there a particular flower she likes?” he asked.
Lu Guang watched Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheerful expression turn sheepish in the wake of his question. He took notice of some flush in the boy’s cheeks. Lu Guang thought he felt a bit warm himself but couldn’t find it in him to open a window.
“Um, hyacinths, I think? Er, maybe that’s her birth flower…” said Cheng Xiaoshi.
Cheng Xiaoshi thought he saw Lu Guang nod before his figure disappeared once more, hidden again by the full arrangement of flower buckets on pallets just as he was when Cheng Xiaoshi had first entered the shop. Through colorful buckets and flower stems and petals, Cheng Xiaoshi could just make out strands of snowy hair. When he craned his body slightly for a better look, he saw the tufts of hair at the back of Lu Guang’s neck and the small curve of his back as he retrieved something from a lower section of the display.
When Lu Guang had ducked down, Cheng Xiaoshi let go of a heavy breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding. When he exhaled, he became aware of the loud, quickening beat of his heart, and had just a few moments to steady himself before Lu Guang appeared in his sight again.
“Would she like these?” he asked.
In Lu Guang’s hand was a bundle of proud pink and yellow hyacinths. They were perfectly vibrant; Cheng Xiaoshi assumed they had been well cared for. Another wide smile spread over his face.
“They’re beautiful!” he exclaimed, making his way quickly over to Lu Guang’s side. Cheng Xiaoshi’s excited gaze was on the flowers Lu Guang was holding out to him; Lu Guang’s eyes were on Cheng Xiaoshi, taking all of him in.
Lu Guang allowed himself a few seconds to watch him. He handed Cheng Xiaoshi the flowers without moving his gaze. He watched with interest, fascination blooming in his chest.
Here was this strange boy who had immediately captured his interest, engaging Lu Guang in more conversation than he was accustomed to, seeming unaware that he was an employee at this flower shop, appearing unsure and anxious about buying his sister flowers.
There was something about Cheng Xiaoshi that made Lu Guang want to study him all over, if just to be able to pin down what that was. It was almost like a vortex drawing him in, like a magnificent planet with its own gravitational pull on everything around it, and still putting out light all around him. Who else could appear in a flower shop and still brighten the room? Who else but this boy who drew him in and held entire worlds in his eyes?
“They are,” he agreed, watching Cheng Xiaoshi admire the flowers.
“Ah, do you think I should get some others, too? Just for variety?” Lu Guang was fascinated by the way Cheng Xiaoshi’s face so easily became painted with all of his emotions. He watched curiously as some anxiety crept into his expression.
“That’s your decision,” said Lu Guang.
Cheng Xiaoshi groaned a bit, appearing a bit stressed now. A moment passed with Cheng Xiaoshi holding vibrant hyacinths, looking thoughtful and anxious, and Lu Guang observing him thoughtfully just beside him. The store window fed a large stream of light just behind the boys, casting shadows and highlights over their features. Lu Guang was aware he was studying Cheng Xiaoshi maybe just a foot away from him.
“Well, what would you recommend, Lu Guang?”
Cheng Xiaoshi looked at Lu Guang again now, who felt like he was staring at an ocean in Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes. They were dark, but so, so full; for a moment, Lu Guang was transfixed in his spot, drifting in their sea. It took some effort to pull himself from his trance, act like he hadn’t been elsewhere, and produce a reply.
Cheng Xiaoshi was a bit surprised when Lu Guang wordlessly turned around and walked away. He watched Lu Guang head towards a shelf on the opposite side of the shop, seeming immediately sure of his destination. Cheng Xiaoshi was still, unable to do anything but observe the beat of his own heart and the graceful way Lu Guang moved. He tracked every movement as Lu Guang paused in front of the shelf, a pensive line appearing in his brows.
Cute.
Lu Guang sorted carefully through the contents of a vase just out of Cheng Xiaoshi’s sight. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision and returned to Cheng Xiaoshi beside the pallets.
“Daisies,” said Lu Guang, extending his arm.
In his careful grasp were multiple primly beautiful daisies, a mix of white, pink, orange, and yellow petals. Cheng Xiaoshi let out an awe-filled sigh, looking at the flowers from every angle before he slowly reached his hand out to grab them.
“I thought they might make for a nice arrangement,” he added.
Did their fingers really touch? Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t sure, but he felt the warm shock of static electricity run through him nonetheless as he carefully placed his fingers around the daisy stems, securing his hand around all of the flowers before Lu Guang unfolded his own fingers from below Cheng Xiaoshi’s. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t help but let his gaze follow the elegant movements of Lu Guang’s fingers. His manner of moving made it seem like he moved slowly, like time moved slowly, but it didn’t—Cheng Xiaoshi had a passing thought that Lu Guang reminded him of a subject of an art piece. Like an old painting, a portrait. Or, is he the artist?
Feeling warmth in his fingers and toes, Lu Guang finally encouraged himself to speak again.
“I thought they would suit you,” he said.
Cheng Xiaoshi knew his face was fully flushed this time. He nearly recoiled, a shiver of electricity passing through him as he failed to hide the sheepish look on his face. He blinked, searching Lu Guang’s face for clues. Did he notice the faint pink streak over Lu Guang’s cheeks or the red wash over his ears?
“O-Oh, yeah? Thank you,” He tried to regain his composure and steady his voice. “Lu Guang.”
Lu Guang.
Lu Guang heard his own name ring through his ears. He felt the urge to fold in on himself, but instead turned his head away meekly. He wondered if he was blushing, and if Cheng Xiaoshi noticed.
Cheng Xiaoshi smiled at the sight for a while before smelling the bunch of flowers. It was delightfully sweet and refreshing. He was sure Qiao Ling would love it.
“What would you like?” asked Cheng Xiaoshi.
Lu Guang’s head snapped back up.
“What?”
“What flowers do you like, Lu Guang? If someone were giving you flowers, what kind would you like?”
Lu Guang found himself staring at Cheng Xiaoshi. Just when he thought he couldn’t be more purely interesting, his gravity couldn’t be stronger, he asks that. He let the situation sit with him, let Cheng Xiaoshi’s lighthearted gaze rest on him for a long moment.
What would I like?
“Forget-me-nots,” he said finally.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s head tilted lightly to the side, his eyes still fixed curiously on Lu Guang.
“Can you show me?” asked Cheng Xiaoshi.
Lu Guang was struggling to continue stifling his surprise. This boy was full of surprises, and Lu Guang was a bit surprised at how easily he found himself wading in his water. He felt like Cheng Xiaoshi was looking through him now, seeing parts of him that others didn’t see, or that he wouldn’t show.
Eventually, he nodded again and turned around. Cheng Xiaoshi followed behind as Lu Guang walked down the narrow aisle to the other end of the shop, stopping at a different shelf, this one filled with all sorts of vases, pots, and blooms. Lu Guang reached up, nearly standing on his toes as he reached for a high shelf in the display. Cheng Xiaoshi watched carefully as Lu Guang retrieved a butter-yellow vase filled with skinny blue flowers and turned to show him.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s gaze fell from Lu Guang to the flowers observantly. Lu Guang watched Cheng Xiaoshi as he seemed to study the small blossoms.
His hair is curly.
It’s over his eyes…
“They’re beautiful, Lu Guang,” said Cheng Xiaoshi, soft honey dripping from his voice.
“Mm,” hummed Lu Guang again.
Cheng Xiaoshi looked up from the flowers Lu Guang held near his chest to meet his eyes.
“They may not really go with the rest of the bouquet, though,” said Lu Guang in a low voice.
“What? Why not?”
“Well, they’re blue—”
“They’re perfect!”
Lu Guang, again, was unable to hide his surprise. His eyes widened and searched Cheng Xiaoshi intently. He saw Cheng Xiaoshi with a wider smile than ever—how is that even possible?—and felt butterflies dancing away in his stomach. He willed his legs to be firm and words to come out of his mouth.
“You think so?” he asked.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression didn’t falter. Lu Guang felt more and more like his legs were made of jelly.
“Will your sister like them?”
“Definitely,” said Cheng Xiaoshi resolutely.
Lu Guang observed Cheng Xiaoshi with utmost curiosity now, lost for words. Growing stronger inside of him was an intense desire to stand there and study Cheng Xiaoshi, for however long it took to understand. Who exactly are you? What makes you tick like this? How are you doing this?
What’s happening to me?
Is it happening to you, too?
“Ah, but—hey, Lu Guang, when do you think the shopkeeper will be back? I was hoping to be back home before she woke up…”
You said my name again.
Why does it sound like that when you say it?
Lu Guang stared at Cheng Xiaoshi for a couple of seconds. Once more, he was admiring the quick, wide range of his emotions: now, Cheng Xiaoshi looked somewhat distressed again. Lu Guang could see the gears tears in his head. He suppressed a laugh but a smile was threatening to tug at his lips.
“I’ll get them for you.”
“What?! No, I can’t let you do that!”
“You’re in a rush.”
“Well—no, not that much! I can wait here a bit longer with you…if that’s okay.” Cheng Xiaoshi waved his hands objectively and a bit frantically. Lu Guang was amused by the look on his face and the way his entire body was caught up in his response.
“Oh, but I don’t want to hold you up, either—Agh!” grumbled Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang let out a little breath so as not to laugh.
“Really, I don’t mind. You should get going. I bet your sister would be mad if you were late.” Lu Guang held an open hand out to Cheng Xiaoshi. He thought he saw some of the color drain from Cheng Xiaoshi’s face as he seemed to think it over.
“You’re probably right about that…” he admitted.
He looked shyly again at Lu Guang’s hands, hesitant to hand over the flowers. He noticed a writer’s callous at the edge of his ring finger and let himself look at it for a second longer. Cheng Xiaoshi found himself wondering what kind of things Lu Guang wrote, what kind of pen he used, what his handwriting looked like. He let himself wonder this time.
“Ah! Okay Lu Guang, you win this time. But this isn’t the end,” he said, voice proud with stubborn determination. Lu Guang thought it filled the entirety of the shop perfectly.
This time Cheng Xiaoshi was sure their fingers brushed against each other as he handed Lu Guang the bunch of blooms. He felt a lump rise in his throat. When their hands separated, Cheng Xiaoshi was still thinking about the gentle heat of Lu Guang’s fingers under his own, how they were soft but careful when taking the flowers by their stems.
“Can I at least pay you?” asked a somewhat dejected-looking Cheng Xiaoshi, who was already reaching in his pocket. Lu Guang shook his head and held Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes.
“No. Don’t worry about it.”
Cheng Xiaoshi frowned. Lu Guang was surprised by how sweet a frown could look. This sort of exaggerated, defeated, kind expression on your face…
Lu Guang turned to walk towards the counter some feet behind them. He only took a few steps before Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice stunned him to stop.
“Wait!” he said, rushing up beside Lu Guang. The narrow aisle was barely suitable for two people to stand side by side like this. Lu Guang searched Cheng Xiaoshi’s face attentively as he appeared in front of him, dangerously close.
He has long eyelashes.
Before Lu Guang could fully process what was happening, Cheng Xiaoshi had skillfully plucked some of the forget-me-nots from the bunch of flowers, grabbing them carefully by the stems. He handled them gently once he pulled them free, straightening the small blue assortment in his hand. Lu Guang watched as he extended his hand back out to him, heard his voice when he spoke, yet stood in a bit of stupor for a couple of seconds even afterward.
“For you,” said Cheng Xiaoshi.
His voice was soft to Lu Guang’s burning ears, sweet as it embraced him and wrapped around his heart. He held the delicate blue blossoms in front of Lu Guang’s chest, waiting eagerly for him to take them. He looked like a proud child waiting eagerly for praise, something like an excited puppy. Lu Guang thought light was surely beaming off of him now.
He finally focused his vision on the flowers, bringing himself to his senses, then looked back up at Cheng Xiaoshi. His pure, cheeky countenance was glowing—Lu Guang thought he might melt into a puddle right then and there if he didn’t look away.
A shy blush spread across his face, burning a bit brighter this time. He thought anxiously about whether Cheng Xiaoshi had noticed. He willed his hands shyly around the flowers again, struggling to look at Cheng Xiaoshi in front of him, and finally managed to get the words out.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice quieter and less even than before.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile renewed at the corners as Lu Guang took the flowers.
“You’re welcome, Lu Guang.”
Lu Guang bolstered the courage to look at Cheng Xiaoshi and was met with that bright expression again. He felt the warmth in his cheeks and stroked the cool stems of the flowers.
Lu Guang.
“Oh, crap, I’m gonna be late,” said Cheng Xiaoshi, his words quicker as panic crept back into his voice. Lu Guang watched as he briefly scrambled, then took a deep breath and hurried to the door. He followed a few steps behind Cheng Xiaoshi as he strode towards the exit. Once he was at the door, his head whipped around and the boys locked eyes. Lu Guang felt the paralyzing weight of Cheng Xiaoshi’s gravity pulling on him on a string.
“I’ll see you here again, right, Lu Guang?” he asked. His voice filled the shop again, the hope in his voice tugging at Lu Guang’s heart.
Lu Guang nodded, his fingers still caressing the flowers.
“Yes.”
Cheng Xiaoshi beamed brighter than ever and twisted his wrist around the old doorknob.
“Great! Okay, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later!”
“See you later, Cheng Xiaoshi.”
A ray of sunlight winked at Lu Guang as Cheng Xiaoshi opened and closed the door of the flower shop. As the bell sang a pleasant chime, Lu Guang took in the sweet smell and sight of his forget-me-nots and smiled widely.